Real men, Todd Palin and me
If the information I have on the Palin family saga is correct – and who knows with all the spin out there – Todd Palin is one of the real men who has put his family ahead of his own personal ambitions.
This is a real macho man who worked oil rigs and ran his own commercial fishing business before wife Sarah became governor of Alaska. But when that happened, he took a part-time job with his union, United Steelworkers Local 4959, to make more time for his family. He did what I and a lot of other men throughout history have done when it became apparent that their wives had been called on to do something really special.
In my own case, it was – in hindsight – the obvious choice to make my wife’s medical career the higher priority. I was at the tail end of my days in film and video production when my son was born. My specialty of clay animation was quickly being surpassed by computer animation. And when you compared the value of animating dinosaurs to that of snatching babies from the jaws of death, it was hard to make a case that my job was just as important. And from the financial angle … well … they don’t call us starving artists for nothing.
When I left filmmaking and went into education, I did it for the money as well as the family-friendly schedule. But the bottom line was that for both of us to continue to work long and unpredictable hours was unfair to our children and way too stressful for us.
I believe that once you become a parent, success should be measured by how well the needs of the whole family are met. If that means that sometimes it makes more sense to put Daddy’s self-fulfillment on hold, then so be it. After all, at work, any of us can be replaced. At home, none of us can.
I would like to hear how some of you have worked out the balance between work and family. Without a doubt, it is one of the toughest challenges of our times.
Read more on Palin:
- Palin highlights the FTD (full-time dad) »
Learn more about Rob.
Read more from the Family Ties Parents Panel:
- Monday morning madness »
- Going green and saving some, too »
- Fear is good »
- Never enough about teen pregnancy »
- Three ways to waste a lot of money on a toddler »
- Motherhood changed my priorities »
Photo: Rob Baggett animating clay characters in his former profession.
I am finally glad to see some articles on Todd Palin and the importance of Dads in this whole equation! I was an Army Nurse when we first had kids. My husband decided to stay home full-time with our new baby as this made the most sense financially, etc. He was awesome! He would take her out in the bike trailer around Fort Lewis Army base. He still talks about the look on the guys faces as he was stopping to feed the baby and the soldiers were all driving by in tanks. It takes a real man to be able to do that and enjoy it!! After 2 years, we switched. I got out of the Army to stay home and he went into the Army after he was accepted into the Army Baylor PT program. That meant a $35,000 pay cut, but it was worth it! He is now a major in the Army and works at Fort Jackson, SC. I stayed home for the 10 years as we moved around with military moves and deployments. Now, after having gone back to work for a year, I am a full-time Graduate nursing student at USC and will be a Family Nurse Practitioner in 2 1/2 years. It was a struggle sometimes, but we made it. My husband’s life was definitely enriched by his time at home. Go dads!! Jennifer Feltwell, Columbia, SC
Yeah, what a great dad he is. A teenage daughter pregnant at 17 who drinks and smokes pot. A son who’s been in oxycodone clinics. It sounds like he’s been a real attentive dad. Parents should be measured on how their kids turn out. Are any of the Palin children who are of age going to college? Don’t you think that says something? Face it, if Todd and Sarah Palin were Democrat’s you all would be saying what irresponsible parents they are. You all can find a way to justify anything. What a joke.
I agree with Todd. It appears to me that the Palin’s have used their children as political props. That’s not what I would define as good parenting. I doubt that you’ll see an article in this paper, or in this state about Joe Biden. A father who drove the train from Washington D.C. to Delaware every night to be with his kids. And how have the Biden children turned out? A son who graduated from the University of Pennsyvania and Syracuse Law school. Another son who graduated from Georgetown University and Yale Law school. A daughter who graduated from Tulane. They all appear succesful, happy, and well adjusted. Of course their Democrat’s so all of this will be dismissed by most in this state. Oh well.
Kevin Federline was also given the “real man” tag for being such a great dad by some ignorant writer.
Perhaps if we could stop labeling each other and making inflammatory statements without any corroboration, we could have a discussion on the issue of balancing work and family, which is what the author asked. It seems to me that he is writing about his personal experience and how he has tried to find the right path for him and his family. Todd Palin was simply a way to open that discussion. Stereotyping people as liberal or conservative, Republican or Democrat is easy. To look beyond labels and actually think and exchange ideas is a bit harder but more worthwhile in the long run.
Sarah and Todd Palin kind of scare me. It’s quite obvious to me that they are totally fake when it comes to “family”.I feel sorry for the kids. They are the ones who are suffering from the parent’s overwhelming political ambitions.
I think its admirable of a man who is secure in letting his wife be the breadwinner as well as one who is actively involved in his children’s lives. What’s wrong with that?
BTW, I am NOT a Palin fan in the least. But I am a fan of fathers who provide emotional support and place thier families first. Its the ultimate sacrifice.
Sorry no matter which way you split it. The republican choice for VP is not a “good” mother. If you want to spout about how special family your is. And how much you have sacrificed then first make sure that you are really doing what you preach.
Yea well to all of you who have posted today lets stop and look at how many fingers point back at you when you are accusing them. I also highly doubt that when you reply to me you are speaking the truth. It starts in the home but as the children venture into the real world they make there own decisions. You can not blmae the Palin childrens behavior on the parents in anyway, especially here in America..
Lay off the kids of the Palin family remember they can hear and watch what you say and they can also take your direct words to heart, maybe the state of Alaska made them who they are by accusing them just as all of you are.. Do not blame the parents, blame the media and blame yourself for how they have turned out.
Renee read my article as I intended. Todd Palin was just a way to open the discussion. I was making the point that for some families at particular times in life it makes more sense for Dad to cut back or, even, stay home full-time. My concern is that in too many families, parents put their self-fulfillment through their careers ahead of responsibilities to their children. The idea of sacrifice, or a little postponement, of personal goals is never considered. But love often requires some sacrifice. And granted, making the case with the Palins may not have been the best choice. The daughter’s pregnancy may be partially due to lack of supervision. I imagine they have been a little distracted. Still I’m not going to pass judgment on them. Parents only have so much control.
The Palin family’s decisions are none of my business, and I trust they’ve made the choices that thay believe are best for their children. However, I would like to point out that regardless of whether Todd Palin is a stay-at-home dad who is fully capable of caring for the family, if his wife is elected vice president, this family – including both mother and father – will have more obligations and demands on their time than the typical suburban family. And it’s tough enough for families who aren’t involved in the government of one of the most powerful nations in the world.
I agree that many men are supportive and involved fathers who have made career decisions based on what is best for their family. If you are one of these fathers, I applaud you. But despite progress in this area, the division of labor for home and family is far from equal. I have a great husband who is a wonderful father and who shares in family and household responsibilities. I’m sure he believes he’s carrying an equal amount of the load, but he is not. This is a common misconception for fathers – judging from conversations I have with friends and family. If one parent does not work outside the home, you would expect that parent – mom or dad – to carry most of the load for family and home responsibilities. However, an unequal division of labor continues when both parents work outside the home (http://www.nsf.gov/discoveries/disc_summ.jsp?cntn_id=111458).
For men who see themselves as helping out with the children and home, that’s where the problem lies. They still see it as “helping” the wife/mother out, not as being equally responsible for making sure the family and home run smoothly.
Here’s a litmus test for how much of the load you carry for home and family:
1) Do you know what you’re having for supper tonight? Who will cook it? Who planned the menu? Who did the grocery shopping?
2) Do you know when to pick up the items from your daughter’s soccer team fund-raiser? If so, is it because you wrote the date on your calendar when you got the e-mail from the coach or because the mother of your children reminded you of the date and asked if you had time to make the pick-up?
3) When is the last time you visited your child’s school? called or e-mailed a teacher? bought school supplies?
4) Are your child’s vaccinations up to date? What is her doctor’s name?
5) When is the last time you cleaned the shower? Was it because you noticed it needed cleaning and took responsibility for doing it yourself? Or was it because your wife asked you do it?
You get the picture.
I have the greatest respect for caring and involved husbands and fathers, so my intention is not to criticize but merely to say that you might want to offer to make dinner tonight – without being asked.
Thanks alot for the great read.
Sep 25th, 2008 at 11:59 pm
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