I agree that many men are supportive and involved fathers who have made career decisions based on what is best for their family. If you are one of these fathers, I applaud you. But despite progress in this area, the division of labor for home and family is far from equal. I have a great husband who is a wonderful father and who shares in family and household responsibilities. I’m sure he believes he’s carrying an equal amount of the load, but he is not. This is a common misconception for fathers – judging from conversations I have with friends and family. If one parent does not work outside the home, you would expect that parent – mom or dad – to carry most of the load for family and home responsibilities. However, an unequal division of labor continues when both parents work outside the home (http://www.nsf.gov/discoveries/disc_summ.jsp?cntn_id=111458).

For men who see themselves as helping out with the children and home, that’s where the problem lies. They still see it as “helping” the wife/mother out, not as being equally responsible for making sure the family and home run smoothly.

Here’s a litmus test for how much of the load you carry for home and family:
1) Do you know what you’re having for supper tonight? Who will cook it? Who planned the menu? Who did the grocery shopping?
2) Do you know when to pick up the items from your daughter’s soccer team fund-raiser? If so, is it because you wrote the date on your calendar when you got the e-mail from the coach or because the mother of your children reminded you of the date and asked if you had time to make the pick-up?
3) When is the last time you visited your child’s school? called or e-mailed a teacher? bought school supplies?
4) Are your child’s vaccinations up to date? What is her doctor’s name?
5) When is the last time you cleaned the shower? Was it because you noticed it needed cleaning and took responsibility for doing it yourself? Or was it because your wife asked you do it?

You get the picture.

I have the greatest respect for caring and involved husbands and fathers, so my intention is not to criticize but merely to say that you might want to offer to make dinner tonight – without being asked.

Lay off the kids of the Palin family remember they can hear and watch what you say and they can also take your direct words to heart, maybe the state of Alaska made them who they are by accusing them just as all of you are.. Do not blame the parents, blame the media and blame yourself for how they have turned out.