Texting and Facebook: The new rites of passage
Our daughter just turned 13, and we agreed to give her a cell phone and private Facebook page. Coming to this decision wasn’t easy. My husband and I debated the topics for many months, and the pressure has been tough. Society hasn’t helped, particularly considering she had a toy cell phone that lit up and beeped when she was a toddler.
In our defense, our daughter’s cell phone has so many strings attached to it she might as well have signed a contract with Donald Trump. She now knows the phone is a privilege – not a right – that is subject to audits, curfews and Mom’s hormonal fluctuations.
As far as Facebook goes, I have a different philosophy. We’ve not allowed our little girl to use it before. Considering her age, I’m concerned that by preventing her from getting it, it becomes more intriguing than it really is. I’m hoping that by making it available, again with more strings than a kite-flying festival, it is put in its proper place.
Now I suddenly find myself in another peculiar predicament. We’ve made the decision to give her these things, but how do we make sure she’s safe and using good judgment?
I’m sure the cell phone carrier and Facebook administrators have programs to offer parental control. I believe, however, that we parents are the wisest consumers of all and that we need to closely monitor her actions. Do you have any suggestions? How do you monitor your child’s phone texting or usage online? Do you have any creative solutions to share?
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I know it’s tough to go against the flow, but sometimes I think we parents give in too easily to “everyone else has texting, a Facebook page, etc.” Facebook can be a fun way for teens to socialize, although 13 might be a bit young. I’m not quite sure what you mean by “private” Facebook page. My 17 year old has his own page, but it is definitely not private. Before he set it up, our agreement was that Mom and Dad are allowed to see it at any time. We also had conversations about what he should and shouldn’t post – reminding him to think before he posts. Something that might seem innocent might be taken in an entirely different way than what he meant it, etc. We actually had one incident like that, and because I sit down and look at his Facebook page with him about once a day, I was able to use that to show him why it’s important to take care with what you post.
Friend your daughter on Facebook so you can see everything that is posted, and make sure the phone is in your possession every night around 8 or 9 because you will soon find that the kids will text well past midnight if you don’t. I gathered that bit of advice after teaching middle school – you wouldn’t believe believe the bills some of my students have run up, and they are walking into class tired because they’ve been texting all night, or checking our what is being sent to them. I’m also VERY impressed by those students who can have their phone on in their pocket and still be texting while they are in class despite the no phone rule. Stay alert and on top of it. It is a great tool to use as leverage though.
Nov 18th, 2009 at 2:59 pm
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Nov 27th, 2009 at 12:30 pm
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