Sex addict or dog? Are you kidding me?
I went through an “all men are dogs” stage when my marriage ended. I am sure a lot of women have been there at one point or another in their lives. If not, just keep living, as my grandmother used to say. How enlightening it was for me to read the article in yesterday’s paper that suggests cheating might not be men’s fault.
Surely you saw the article. It was titled, “Sex addict or dog?” and had a picture of Tiger Woods above it. It suggested that men who cannot control their sexual impulses might be suffering from a sex addiction and are not simply dogs.
No more sleepless nights for all of us who have felt the sting of that particular betrayal – wondering if maybe we should have tried this or maybe if we had done that. Perhaps we were simply in love with a man who happened to be a sex addict and could no more control his behavior than an epileptic can control a seizure without the assistance of medicine. I can’t help but wonder what kind of medicine is required to cure, control or heal a sex addict.
Unless otherwise agreed upon, most women in a committed relationship expect fidelity. It does not matter if his boys will cover for him so he does not get caught. It does not matter if a man’s significant other is out of town and will never know. It does not matter if the man practices safe sex. It does not matter how many times a man says “no” if it is not “NO” every time. Fidelity means being faithful regardless of how accomplished he is.
I certainly cannot dismiss the possibility that sex addictions are real. But what about personal responsibility? I accept responsibility for my actions and the consequences of my choices without trying to find a scientific reason to deny culpability. Perhaps Tiger and men like him should do just that. Perhaps they could simply MAN UP and accept the consequences for their actions.
I certainly would have more respect for someone who said to me, “Yes, I did it.” He would get his walking papers because I do not suffer from low self esteem, but I would appreciate his honesty.
Some men are dogs and maybe some are even addicted to sex. However, simply because a man does not say no does not mean that he is genetically incapable of saying no.
Learn more about Denise
Read more from the Parents Panel:
- How many moods can a teenager have, for Pete’s sake?
- Everything about home decorating I learned from my children
- Sweet Flower: The short life of our Christmas hamster
- Ode to the Garbage Man
- Children should live the dream . . .
- Character matters most
This was absolutely dumb. This woman tries to give credence to a scientific reality so that she doesn’t appear TOTALLY uneducated. And then she turns around and asserts that anyone (or just men I suppose) who say that they are suffering from this scientifically proven ailment simply have refused to “Man Up”. WHAT?
Admittedly, not all men stray because they suffer from an addiction, but this writer will allow for no men to be classified as such.
One cannot at the same time admit the existence of an addiction and then suggest that no one suffers from it, as this writer tries to do. That’s just plain dumb.
There is still debate within the scientific community whether or not sex addiction is a real addiction. So, I have to respectfully disagree with your assessment. Whether a man suffers from what he deems a sex addiction or not he is still responsible for his actions. One might suggest that he could/should start by revealing his “addiction” to any potential mate. The mate would then know or have any idea of what might lay ahead. Say what you like, there is no excuse for not accepting personal responsibility or maybe every chronic cheater is simply addicted.
South Carolina is still a good place to live.
Did I just read “Diary of an Angry Black Woman II: Electric Boogaloo”? Women are just as liable to be dogs as men; please don’t one-side this topic towards males. Its entirely about self-control, and those who cheat on their significant others lack this; That, or they entered a relationship with false intentions and commitment that stops whent the lights come on. If you want to do some scientific study on this, forget trying to find Tiger, just go across the street to Mark “The Spark” Sanford’s house.
Oh, and finally: MAN UP?!? If I say WOMAN UP, is it sexist?
To say all men are dogs is just as bad as saying all women are screaming lunatics certian times of the month. You cannot generalize like this simply because you have a few bad example.There are ample women that are willing (where is the accusations against the WOMEN that Tiger slept with… oh, that’s right – they are VICTIMS – I see how this rolls….) and it still takes two to tango – and I REALLY doubt most of these ‘ladies’ would have been rolling in the hay with ‘ol Tiger (or for that matter, Sanford, Edwards, you insert the next scandal_____ ) if he was a smooth-talking trash collector making minimum wage that has married with two children at home….
I believe Denise wrote in the last paragraph that some men are dogs,not all.
Infidelity is wrong (man or woman) fix your mind however or in whatever way makes you comfortable, but, wrong is wrong and right is right!
An addiction is anything that you continue to do even though you know it is bad for you. So yes, sex can be an addiction, but no matter what, you have control over your body and what you do with it. You chose to do the things you do. Just like smoking for instance… you have to have self control and stay away from the things that will make you more prone to buy them & smoke them… Having said that…on the other end of the spectrum you have someone that is super famous–maybe it got to his head? No matter what, he needs to be proactive in fixing himself… whether it was an addiction or not. He broke his wedding vows and that was WRONG. He has a lot of forgiveness-asking to do!!! (and) not just asking, putting it in ACTION! Good day people!
There maybe such thing as “addiction” to sex…..I don’t know….but what I do know is that most addicts are in denial first and just because they get caught they don’t admit to their weakness. I think it is just easier to blame it on something or someone else especially if there’s no proof of existance. Saying you’re an addict is much easier than saying I’m sorry whether you are male or female. We only do things we feel we can get away with
Jan 28th, 2010 at 2:44 pm
[...] Sex addict or dog? Are you kidding me? [...]
Feb 3rd, 2010 at 11:09 pm
[...] Sex addict or dog? Are you kidding me? [...]
Feb 12th, 2010 at 2:36 pm
[...] Sex addict or dog? Are you kidding me? [...]